Pork Talk 28th April 2019

PORK TALK
ANZAC Day Round at Rockingham
Club fine *
The ANZAC Day round has always been an important part of Australian culture. Almost all of us have family and friends who have served. Some haven’t returned. The spirit of comradeship the ANZACs shared also exists within the Pigs community,something we should all be proud of. We should

also be proud of diggers such as Private Gavin Pascoe, who served four years in the regular army in our 6th Battalion Royal Australian Regiment and would have been deployed to Afghanistan but for a knee injury. Probably just as well for the Taliban. Its service such as Gav’s that we all remember on ANZAC Day, so give him a pat on the back and say thanks. Also he barracks for Port Power so give him another pat.
Juniors
The trip down to play the Rockingham Ram Raiders is always a tough one!
The Juniors were bolstered with some key players, notably Pete who returned from his detox at a Thai health retreat where he put on six kilo. Unfortunately Pete has been cited by the club’s committee for handballing twice in one quarter and is at risk of missing games if this continues.
The Juniors were great in the last quarter, banging on goal after goal, hotter than an Eagles supporter calling 6PR after a home loss.
Adam had another solid game, having arrived a little late after taking the Mandurah exit instead of the Rockingham one. Cupcake made up the numbers and SOS appears to have lost impact, along with 40kg.
Masters
Chad started by sprinting from half back, almost 100 metres linking up on a number of occasions, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, before missing the relatively easy shot on goal. It was great play Chad, its also a fine*
The Ram Raiders backline was working about as well as their post-game beer ticket scheme. What was that all about? Let’s face it, boys love to stand around an esky full of ice, sharing a cold one and a joke with a bloke that ten minutes ago was their worst enemy.
Brad ‘A Star is Born’ Cooper had an interesting day, racking up possessions at will, and then giving the umpires some advice on what constitutes a sling tackle. Watching him play three games * in a row was like watching back to back episodesof Married at First Sight, a good idea at the time, but painful by the time you’re finished.
The play of the day was by Peter Fenn, who tackled a man mountain front on in the goal square holding the ball, stopped a certain goal, and earnt him huge street cred.
Gav, Anton, Dale, Tommy, Dan and Darryl all played well. At times in the backlines it was like the Battle of Westeros, as our defenders fended off a never ending stream of white walkers. Henry continues to bely the fact that he spend the first 20 years of his life chasing wildebeest barefoot (Henry, not the wildebeest) through the African veldt instead of eating vegemite like his Aussie teammates.
Seniors
Boothy * started in the forward lines for a half which paid dividends but he was swung back into defence when coach Eaton realised his magnet board was up the wrong way. Eaton was then fouled in a cruel low blow to his (already rubbish) knees, but rebounded quickly to sell some candy to unwitting Rams, making them look about as stupid as a chocolate fire poker. *
Gav had a long shot for goal which pulled up short. He now claims that he was seeking out a shorter target. I call bullshit. Fine*
Boyd Jnr played well, having put on 8 kilo on a recent South Pacific cruise after putting Toblerone cocktails on his Corn Flakes for breakfast every day. He will also be fined * for wearing umpires socks during the Seniors game.
PK at one stage struggled to get to his feet after a solid hit, but then again when if you have that much undercarriage you’d struggle too. * Billy probably needed the run. I think I said that last match report. Jose continues to get a lot of space between him and his opponent, unfortunately he was in the backlines (refer photo *) which is not really the idea of defence. Marty, Nev, Fug, Prez all shone bright, all too briefly.
Fyfe-like elbows were raised in the post-match debrief at the CY O’Connor where the Prez handed out free drinks and pizza like the Eagles handed out centre clearances to Geelong. The WAGs continued on their good pre-season form.
See you next week at home for Tic Toc round.
NEWS FLASH: The WAAFL, Masters football, Adam Simpson and the Visor * are investigating poor playing surfaces at all WA grounds. Following a very close visual inspection at Ellenbrook, the Visor found himself once again on the ground praying for a kick at Rockingham. Fortunately for him, strong moral support from the assembled Seniors was evident in the way they laughed until their ribs hurt.