Pork Talk 28th July 2019

Round 9: Booragoon (again)

(*fine)

The Pigs football family made their way to Booragoon in sunny conditions where the Masters took to the field with only 12 players, a bit like the Australian cricket team but without the sandpaper. With so few players on the field, there was plenty of room in which to run so Guy took the opportunity to run directly towards the oppositions goal. With the ball. Strangely no opposition players attempted to tackle Guy*.

To confuse Guy even further, ‘Barn Door’ Fred lined up on the wrong wing. His wing. Bazz was mopping up in the backline like an older Barrass, with Robert Steel just as effective for the Crocs as the Pigs picked him out like he was Jeremy McGovern. H was about six inches short of the Crocs ruckman but battled like a Ninja Warrior, Brendan tied back his dreadlocks and ran hard at the ball all day, and Rob ‘Blisters’ Lamond *(shows up after the works done), stuck to his man like shit sticks to a blanket. Cupcake* phoned another one in, and Tommy, when he wasn’t providing smart comments, was playing some good football, until he missed a goal which could only be described as unmissable. Coops racked up plenty of kicks, unfortunately most of them went over the boundary line which was put in the wrong place by the Booragoon boys. The ‘Mailman’ Catchy (he never delivers on the weekend) was good, and Mad Dog, returning from a hamstring injury was solid all day. Coach Tongy* was unavailable due to a nerve problem, caused by over celebrating his birthday, but it meant he could focus on moving the magnets and celebrating his birthday even more.

Seniors An interesting game followed against the Northern Warriors Blue boys, who are pretty good guys. Pete Maloney* stepped in to help the old boys, and took a mark running with the flight of the ball, that Nick Reiwoldt would have been happy with. One interesting aspect of the Seniors game was the umpires tendency to stop the game whenever a Warrior incurred an injury, and only when we had the ball. Strange. One of the highlights was Andy, at the tender age of 71, taking a screamer in the forward lines from a clever pass from Johnno. However the crowd assembled was in shock when the umpire failed to pay the mark which robbed Andy of a fairy tale moment. After the game Andy said he’d like to play on until he turns 75. Slim was in great form, using his strong marking skills to form link up plays. Slim is known within the team as ‘Grenade’ (he pulls the pin if it’s raining), a nickname which personally I think is unfair. It turns out he doesn’t read this anyway, so we can say what we want eh? Boydy was doing his best work in the packs while Billy Bradley continued his Bali form with strong tackling and attack on the ball. Bill Walker at full back elected to handball rather than kick, which would have been fine if it were not to his opponent. Result: Opposition goal. After the game I spoke to the coach and told him I had some tragic news and I wouldn’t be able to play in the last three games of the season. He said OK, but what’s the tragic news?

Juniors The Pickering Brook boys hadn’t ventured down the hill to Perth for a while, but it was great they could make it to Booragoon to take on the Juniors in a very entertaining clash. The country boys had the best of it early slotting goals with monotonous regularity, however as the game wore on, Pigs like Ty, Pete, Jesus, Brad, Erwin, Jarrad and Nick got their mojo together and made the farmers squeal. Like Pigs. Interesting was the sight of an attractive set of groupies cheering Mal’s* every classy move, of which there was plenty. Further investigation required here to explain why and who, but irrespective, a fine will ensue. Once again, Shayne Pick* didn’t have anything else to do on Sunday afternoon, so decided to play about six games. Catchy* finished the day by hauling the jumpers bag to his car, only to remember he’d forgotten his own bag and having to return to the clubhouse. This will also be a fine. In other news, Dry July is almost over. Thank you good Lord.

Next game: Nollamara.